So, I have been thinking a little about this whole blog thing. It's kind of an interesting phenomenon.
I like to click on links from friends and family's blogs and even read blogs of people that I don't even know.
I think the majority of the blogs are "Mom Blogs" which usually consists of the family name with a picture of the family in the title while a mom tells heartwarming adventures that she has had with her family that day or week.
I think the Mom blogs are nice, and It seems like Moms have nearly taken over blog space. It's kind of a nice way for families to keep other family members in touch with each other.
The only problem I have with "Mom Blogs" are the comment sections. Rarely do I read a Mom blog with a rude or smart @$$ comment. For the most part, "Mom blog" comments are almost too sweet. I know women are meaner than that, so why not write what they really feel. Instead of, Oh how sweet is that or that is the cutest thing, why not say what you really feel like. Why not write the comment you made out loud as you looked at and read the blog. If you said, "Oh how darling!" Please write it, but if you said "Oh gag me!" write that. If the kid isn't cute write it, they need to know. Throw something out like: "yeah, your kid is cute if you are into giant foreheads" Ya know something like that. There is no need for other bloggers to be under a distorted perception of reality. They would be better off knowing the truth.
If I go to the doctor and have cancer, I want to know if I have cancer, I don't want him to smile, give me a hug, and tell me that I'm pretty. I want to know what I have so I can fix it.
I think I have a pretty good idea of what is going on inside the mind of the Mom bloggers and I guarantee that 90% of the comments are a little off of what they really feel.
This is the Internet. When you put something on a blog, anyone in the world can read about your personal life. I think when someone creates a public blog, they should welcome public comments even if they cause hurt feelings.
There you are telling the world how your kid is the cutest and best kid in the world. You better expect to be compared to the whole world, and sooner or later someone with a cuter and smarter kid is going to come across your blog, look at your kid and say: damn, that's an ugly kid, and possibly post it. Ive done that before to random strangers, and I don't do it anonymously, not to be mean but because I think they need to know.
I think it is funny when I see a "comment deleted" in someones comments, I try to imagine what was written because I know somewhere deep there was something that would have been much more entertaining than "Oh how cute, that was to die for!" Somebody had the cajones to say something and I just wish that I would have read it before it got deleted. Maybe I would have agreed and maybe I would have disagreed.
I have never deleted a comment from my blog. I do not think that I ever will.
If I was that worried what other people said I would privatize my blog. If you are worried about what someone says or thinks privatize yourself, because weather you know it or not your site probably gets hit 25-80 times per day, not just by strangers but by people that know you that are just bored and wanted to see what you were up to. Most people don't comment because they think that you might think they are weird for just randomly checking you out. Hell, I randomly Google people all the time, some people I like, some people I don't like, and some people just to find out if they are in prison or not. It's pretty entertaining and I'd be willing to bet that we all have at one point and time been on someones blog that we wouldn't want them to know that we were there.
When I surf blog world I usually just surf the friends links of friends links of friends links because I don't dare push the "Next Blog Button" in fear of what I might come across.
When I first started blogging, I got a phone call from my little brother, he said that he pushed the next blog button and got some kind of porn blog. This is how the phone call went:
Dave: Hello?
Gregg: (in a disgusted voice) Dave, (pause, pause,pause) What the hell?
Dave: What?
Gregg:Bro. I pushed the "next blog" button on your blog and it took me to a porn site!
Dave: (Laughing.) You did?
Gregg: Yeah, What the hell? (Now stuttering mad.) Really bad stuff. What the hell?
Dave: I'm sorry bro. I have pushed the next button once and got something bad too, I just don't push the next button any more.
Gregg: What the hell? Why are you linked to a porn site?
Dave: Gregg, I'm not linked to a porn site, it's just random, and I think that since they started letting videos get posted a bunch of sickos came out of the wood works. I was going to put a warning on my blog but I figured everybody would start pushing next just to see if it was true.
Gregg: Oh, that stuff made me feel bad.
Dave: Sorry bro. don't push the next blog button any more.
Gregg: I won't.
So needless to say I try to avoid surfing blog world by pressing the next blog link.
You may have your friends or friends friends come up to you and ask who is dave riddle? He left a crazy comment on my blog.
Yes, I leave random crazy comments on peoples blogs. Even people I don't know, and yes sometimes I say something rude if I think they need it. Nothing too rude, I may tell them their kid looks like he has an Afro with a chinstrap but only if he or she does.
I think that most people are sensitive when someone talks behind their backs. If they hear about it happening, it usually is accompanied by hurt feelings. It shouldn't be. Everybody talks behind everybodys back, and for the most part it isn't out of malice it's just conversation.
If you are honest in your blog comments, it will come as no surprise to someone who hears you said it to someone else and you won't make them feel as bad.
I'm not proposing that every one tap into their inner mean self. I'm just proposing that everyone make their posts a little more real. Then I would really enjoy blog space.
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9 comments:
Okay, these are my REAL thoughts. For the most part I look at moms' blogs and really do think that their kids are cute, because I think I see them through the eyes of the mom who is writing...really, and are there really UGLY kids out there? Maybe I just have cute friends and cousins so their kids really are cute.
HOWEVER, every once in awhile moms get over-the-top (me included) in describing their kids' brain power or talents, and it is annoying as hell. When I've done it, I am genuinely excited about something my kids have done, but if I were someone else reading it, it would be annoying and frankly, I would welcome a comment about that. Nothing like a mean comment to shake things up a little. So, next time I want you to tell ME the truth.
On another note, I was actually locked out of someone's blog because she did not like the comment I wrote on a particular post, so in that case, maybe what I felt shouldn't have been expressed...but it felt great doing it.
I think this post is fabulous...and quite hilarious because it is so true.
I love your blog! You are so "tell it like it is" I love that. Somedays while surfing the blog world I will look at two blogs if I am in a hurry and one is usually yours. I love the mom blogs, but sometimes I get frustrated with their "I am the perfect mom" stories. Kids are brats, and any mom who says their kids are perfect all the time, makes me gag! I guess I need to say that more to those moms, but then I figure if they like to live in the fantasy world of blogging and that is what keeps them going - then I would hate to shatter that dream with a rude comment. Also the only blogs I read are friends and family and I would hate to lose a friend or family member because I forgot to install my filter before commenting. Sometimes things are better left unsaid, and sometimes people need to hear the truth, deciding when those times are is hard. It is fun to read the nice uplifting comments people leave, it makes me feel happy, but then I do wonder what they really think. But I am not really sure if I want to hear it. For example, my post about my weight loss challenge - it was hard to write knowing that someone could say something rude, like, you are still so fat, why did you post that, but I took the chance and so far no one has said that. I guess you haven't read it yet. Sometimes the truth hurts, I guess we have to learn that.
M&MM-To answer your question "Are there really ugly kids out there?"
No, maybe every 1 out of 10000 we stumble across a kid that we really have to admit that he or she possibly got beat with the ugly stick.
The fact of the matter is I love kids and I would be pretty hard up to say there was an ugly one.
I can however look at a pics and say "that's a cute kid" and read some horrible over the top dialog and change my opinion. Thats where I drop bombs. I too am a little predjudice on family and friend's kids. Which is OK.
If I drop a comment bomb I try to do it in a way that shows that I have a smile on my face when I do it.
As far as me telling you the truth, with little girls as cute as yours, you don't have to worry about getting any comment bombs soon. Smart ass bombs yes. Bust your chops bombs no.
TC-
Thank you and ditto.
As for the weight loss challenge blog. I read it and thought it was insightful and enjoyed the reading. You looked good, and worked hard for it. I couldn't find any reasons to drop any comment bombs or for that matter any smart a$$ remarks.
I think you are right that all things need to be used with tact. There is no need of loosing a friendship over a foolish posting.
All-
After posting this, I wondered if it would get people self conscious about their posts.
I hope that isn't the case. I'm really not that critical of the blogs I read. I guess I am a little more critical of the comments.
Nothing like reading a blog that really makes me want to kill puppies only to find people encouraging more crap.
I love you all.
Hi Dave. This is you mom writing...I love you...Just starting on a positive note. Now I'll remind you, David, what Grandma Z and your mother have taught you all your life..."If you can't say anything nice, don't say it at all." Remember?
Now this part is to Dave's Blog Readers:
Yes, this a "MOM BLOG." I'm Dave's mom. I guess by now if you are a faithful reader,you can see that raising Dave meant never having a dull moment. When Dave was little he was an accident waiting to happen. When Dave grew older the word "CAUTION" was never in his vocabulary. Now that Dave is married with a darling wife and 1 and 1/2 little ones... and a blog I have learned many, many new things about his life that I chose to look at through with rose colored glasses. I'm a faithful blog reader because I love this guy more than life itself. He is a precious son to his father and me, a loyal brother to his brothers, their wives, an uncle loved by all the neices and nephews, a hard worker, a faithful church member and a loyal friend. I could write a million stories about Dave but we are moving and so I'll just share one cute story. As I was packing my jewelry box and straightening out my stuff, there among the stuff was a heart necklace with the words, "I love you Mom" written on it. It was given to me by a little 7 year old boy. We had gone to the school carnival. We didn't have much money and so I divided it with the boys. With that amount of money they had to choose wisely the ones they wanted to go to. When we got home and I was taucking the boys into bed, Dave said he had gone to the jewelry making booth and had a surprise for me. It was the necklace. What a darling boy. I could write a million more mom blogs about all my boys. They are the joys of my life along with their wives and my adorable grandchildren. Until today I did not know there was such a thing as a mom blog. I just might have to start one of my own.
Very funny and very interesting-- especially for a guy to be so concerned about mom blogs! I actually have a SIL that won't do a blog because of the reasons you implied. She feels like its a bragging competition. I agree with her for the most part, but it's not going to stop me from documenting our happenings.
I used to read random blogs, but now only read those that I have some connection to, but I agree with your mom, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." I don't leave comments for a couple people because I truly don't have anything to say... and if I did, it's best not to say it.
I'm totally over-the-top. And I don't care. People can read my blog or not and if they think it's over-the-top and continue to read it, than they are idiots. You've called me out on being over-the-top and I didn't delete your comment, but you are tactful and I respect your opinion because you are cool. If someone else leaves a dumba$$ comment I have deleted it before because their point of view is worth a grain of salt.
What gets me is the people that are very simple minded and think it's their way or no way. So many times I am joking or being sarcastic and I get that person that says something stupid. --You even stood up for me once, remember?? :)
I made my blog private again (for the 3rd time), but I'm sure I'll change my mind again and go public. It's not because I care so much who reads it, but sometimes I get uneasy having so much info out on the web. This time instead of warning people I was going private, I just went private and if someone emailed me to read my blog then I invited them to read it. If that person didn't contact me, I didn't invite them. That way they are choosing to read my blog.
I guess overall, people just need to take it for what it's worth and quit being so uptight and simple minded. They're kids and they're awesome... all of them. When you do write about Zach, think of all the amazing things you say and I think that's great!!
BTW-- you should write about him more and show us some pictures!! He's sooooo cute!
P.S. I love what your mom wrote. It sounds like she understands being a "proud" mom and what a cute little boy you were! :)
Mom-Thanks for turning my blog into a Mom blog.
I love you.
Chel-Fist I want to thank you for locking me out of your blog and giving me a bad key. Thanks a lot, that was a little un-kind.
But to show that I am the better man and have no hard feelings, I will respond to your comments.
First, I don't remember saying that I was any more concerned about "Mom Blogs" than any other blog for that matter. I understand that you wrote that statement to try and tap into some type of manhood insecurity. That was clever.
Fortunately for me, I am secure in my manhood and have no problem saying that I read "Mom Blogs". I am even secure enough to say that sometimes I cry along with with some of the heart wrenching stories contained in them.
Even though on the outside I am yoked like an OX, and in 49 states could be arrested for carrying a concealed weapon by simply putting my hands in my pockets,I too have a sensitive side. However hard that is for most people to believe.
Second, I see nothing wrong with exciting tales of family fun, or even a little bragging.
What I do have a problem with is the "Bragging Competitions" That's when it gets way too over-the-top for me.
As I mentioned before, what really gets me is when I read such a crazy over-the-top posting (and I know that there was no way for anyone to read what I had just read without vomiting all over their keyboards) only to to find written words of encouragement.
Third, I don't think that I have ever called you out for being over the top. I have made numerous smart a$$ remark and would have continued to if you wouldn't have been so rude to lock me out of your blog.
Fourth, I remember sticking up for you and feel that I am quite capable of telling when you are joking or when you are serious. And would stick up for you some more if I hadn't been so rudely locked out of your blog and given a faulty password to get in.
Fifth, I can see where you are coming from not wanting to put too much out on the web. I don't write a lot about my wife and baby just because I am a little skiddish about everyone in the world being into that part of my life.
I could spend days upon days writing about my little boy and my wife but I don't. Not because I don't want to but because I know that "Hell hath no fury" like I do If something unkind is said about my family. I just don't like tapping into the dark part of my brain matter.
Finally, as Cindy cousin you are part of my family and as I mentioned a few seconds ago, I don't like to read unkind things said about family, so I probably wont write them to you either.
(Even if you so rudely locked me out of your blog and gave me a bad pass word.)
Dude, you're hilarious.
First, I didn't lock you out of my blog. In fact, I didn't tell anyone I went private and didn't "invite" any one to read it. I have only invited the people that have contacted me and said that they want to read it. That way they have a choice.
I didn't say you said I was over-the-top, I said I was over-the-top. (Well, except all the cupcake outfits-which I was referring to- you did say that was over-the-top). But the problem is that my over-the-top posts are real or jokes. Cool people like you understand that, not so cool people do not understand and they just hatin' cause they are not cool like me and have to feel better by saying something lame.
I know you are a smarta$$. You're family and I get it. I think you are hilarious and very much a man-- no need to explain it to me. Cindy is awesome enough to find the best of all worlds because she deserves it... therefore, I know you kick butt on ALL levels.
Chel-
thanks for letting me back into your blog. I forgive you. ;)
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