3 Years

Three years ago today, with a wild excitement and a hint of fear, I packed 4 large grey crates full of books, clothes, a sleeping bag, and a couple of guns into the back of my Red Chevy pickup, wiped the tears off my wife's cheek, kissed her, told her I loved her, smiled and said, I'm off to make it in Wyoming. I climbed into my truck and started to drive. After a month of deep prayers, and reasoning, and revelation. I was off to where I thought God wanted me to be. It was Sunday and I listened to conference as I drove up I-15, hoping to get a little more revelation to help me on my journey. I was comfortable, and I felt good. I think that I had been dreaming of living in Wyoming since I was a kid, having only been there a couple of times, there was something about it that made me want it.
As I hit Provo I found myself in a traffic jam, thinking to myself, man I am sure glad to not be settling into Provo. As I ventured further looking for the belt route that led me to Wyoming, I saw a large maroon pickup with Wyoming plates and a bumper sticker that said ONE WOLF WILL KILL 300 Elk IN 1 YEAR! or something like that. I knew what truck to follow. I followed the truck through the belt route, up over Parley's Summit, Through Park City, and into Wyoming. I stopped at the welcome to Wyoming sign and took a picture to send home to my wife, (of whom I was already missing terribly). I lost my conference signal as I drove past Evanston East on I-80 and the silence came.

Silence. Wyoming Silence, High Plains Cold Windy Silence. As I drove across the high plains of I-80 through Southern Wyoming, my excitement kind of went to the back of my mind. I was in country that I had never been before, and I think a little fear came to the front of my mind as if to say, you dummy, what are you doing? What if Sheridan looks like Southern Wyoming? What if? What if? What if????????

A lot a questions, a lot of doubt, and fear seemed to be exponentially creeping up on me. The only thing that would slow the fear was prayer. I prayed in that old red truck, I prayed hard, I prayed out loud. I talked to the Big man like he was there with me. (looking back, I really think he was there with me.) My destination was Green River, Wyoming. I would stay the night there, meet my Bosses son at the home office the next morning, and head to Sheridan. It was a good halfway mark. As I pulled into Green River, I've got to say I was a little disappointed. I drove through town saying more than five times under my breath, what a dump. I drove around searching for a Motel that I could back my truck to the door, pull my crates in for the night and sleep. I found a place called the Western Motel. Not to be confused with the Best Western. You all know Motel Six, this was about a Motel 2. I went to the front desk, asked him the rates, (not hourly), and got a room. I backed up my pickup to the door and unloaded my crates. The room was a non-smoking room but it was a hard sell by the evident cigarette burns. The burns were so frequent I almost thought that they were part of the decorations. There was even a cigarette burn through the television. But hey for 30 Bucks a night, that wasn't too bad.

I wasn't hungry and I thought that if I ate I would be able to rid my stomach of the sick feeling that was beginning to collect about 4 inches behind my naval. So I drove to Hardees and bought some double Angus burger meal. It was starting to get dark so I grabbed my food and drove back to my Motel. I walked into my room ate a couple of bites. I wasn't hungry so I set my burger down on the lamp table and grabbed a phonebook. I had the Idea to call my bosses kid, perhaps he'll be friendly and possibly make me feel better about all of this.

I called him, and after a brief discussion hung up discouraged even more. The sick feeling starting to set a little deeper. I had another thought. I'll call the guy that recruited me he could make me feel good again. So I called him. I think the first think I said was I talked to Will and I am wondering if you are screwing me, Bro, you ain't screwing me are you? He assured me that I was hooked up better than I could imagine. I hung up, feeling a little better. I called my wife talked for a minute. Talking to her made me homesick for her, she was positive, and there was something comforting and motivating in her voice. I got off the phone, and wishing that it was my own bed that I was climbing into. went to the bed, knelt down on a cigarette burnt carpet and prayed for a good hour. After I was done, I got up, felt a little better, pulled down the covers to the bed to climb in, only to find that the sheets had holes in them down to the yellow stained mattress. I pulled the covers back up, opened my crate with my sleeping bag, rolled it out and laid down. After about 30 seconds of laying the sick lonely feeling came back. I climbed out of my sleeping bag and knelt down on the burnt carpet again, asking for help, asking for courage, and a good night's sleep. I climbed back into bed and very quickly fell asleep.

To be continued tomorrow...