Women. I titled this blog Women because I want to address the subject of Women. I will be the first to say that I do not understand Women. But I think that I would like to show a little courage today and address this subject. Though complex, I would like to share my perspective on what I don't understand about women. I know that I am a simple man, and I know that this task may have a backlash that perhaps I am not quite aware of yet but I think that I will discuss the things that I dont know. So I will name Eight things that I don't know about Women and as a disclaimer, I will say that I am married to the perfect woman and none of these apply to her, I am speaking of women collectively and not individually.
1. I don't know how women can have simple interactions with each other and turn it into something complex. I run into one of my friends, I say hey, he says hey back thats it. A women runs into one of her friends and says hey, the other on says hey back, ten seconds later one woman is worrying if she should have said more, and the other woman is worrying why the other woman said hey the way she did.
2. I don't know where they got sugar and spice and everything nice. Thats not true. I will submit that Women are 1000 times meaner than men. When Women fight with each other they fight dirty. Men may punch each other in the noses, but women damage each others emotions, that can be permanant. I'd take snakes and snails and puppy dog tails. Thats just temporary damage.
3. I don't know why women cant give orders, or take orders from other women. There is an art to both, and sometimes we all need to do both.
4. I don't know why womens magazines have articles on how to please their man. Iv'e got news, we aren't that hard to please.
5. I don't know why women have to read romantic books or watch romantic movies to feel romantic. I think that a decent burp from their man should be enough.
6. I don't know why women ask us if they look fat in something. We will probably never tell you that something makes you look fat. Only the dumb men will ever venture there and they will only do it once.
7. I don't know why women would ever watch a show like Hope Floats. It doesn't make you feel good and there is no one naked in it.
8. Finally, I don't know why women give men the silent treatment. I'll share a little secret, we like the silent treatment. You may think that is just as effective as the look, its not. Yeah the look, you know what I mean, that doesn't work that good either. Stick with crying, that always works.
I welcome any answers to my I don't know why's. Perhaps that will make me a more understanding man. Speaking of Women, I get mine back today and I am pretty excited.:)
3 comments:
That is hilarious...and so true (wow, did I admit that???) I think I'm going to do a "Man" post in your honor.
It takes a big woman to admit that I am right. And I don't mean "big" as in body mass big, I mean big in the guts area. Not like a big stomach but, you know a lot of courage. See that is what I mean. I can tell a man that he is a "Big man" and that is that, now call a woman a "Big Woman" and yeah, you I better explain the crap out of it.
I think that a "Man" post in my honor would be fantastic.
Yeah, you aren't going to get a fight out of me. That was hilarious AND true. My best of friends have always been guys... because girls... well, their girls and you know that means trouble.
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