26. I just got a new Giant Hi-res Monitor for my work computer that is bad A.
27. About a week after my first date with my wife I was on a date with another girl (pre-cindy scheduling)at a Poison Concert and I had my date wait in line with me to buy Cindy a souvenier.
28. I don't think that being gay is a right or a privelege. I think it is a sin. Besides that I don't like how gay people talk.
29. One time when I was in the boy scouts, I was on a scout trip and had a leader that was always talking down to me and cutting on me. I was sitting in the back seat of his van on the way home and started licking a new piece of jerky then I stuck it out the window to dry then I offered the jerky to my scout leader. He took it and said thanks very sincerely, ate the jerky, and was nice to me the rest of the trip for giving him a piece of jerky. I almost felt bad for that.
30. I wrestled my whole life and don't think that I ever had a match that I didn't feel mental pressure.
31. I don't think that wrestling is a sport for girls. Not that they can't do a good job, just it grosses little boys out to have to wrestle girls.
32. I don't think that cheerleading and drill team is for boys. Even if you are gay. If you read this and are gay and offended please see number 28.
33. In the middle east men fight by pulling off their sandals and start hitting each other with them. I don't think that type of fighting is an effective way of fighting.
34. I think that in order for a person to collect a welfare check, that person has to pass a drug test. That welfare money came from people that payed taxes. The people that payed taxes had to pass a drug test, I think that is only fair.
35. I believe that child molesters and rapists should recieve the death penalty. I don't think it is curable.
36. At one point and time I believed that a Fourty ounce beer bottle in a paper sack was the state flower of Mississippi.
37. I still believe that the mosquito is the state bird of Mississippi.
38. I love Postum, and am saddened by its discontinuance.
39. I have a stockpile of postum and and am happy about that.
40. I believe that I can make a trip to bear country the scariest trip to bear country that a person could have.
41. I think that chitterlings should not be considered a food in any culture. They are hog intestines, you cannot cover up that flavor.
43. I hate hearing someone from another country in our country complain about our country. One day in college, a Japanese student went off on America after the movie Pearl Harbor came out. I told him to get the hell out, we didn't invite him.
44. I believe that the Labrador Retriever is all around the best dog to have. My Little bro bought a English Mastiff and for a while I started changing my mind because it is the coolest looking dog that I had ever seen. However I went back to the Lab because I realised that English Mastiffs just lay around, eat, look pretty and take Giant huds. However it would be a good dog to sick on someone.
45. I think that it is ok to play in Texas without a fiddle in the band.
46. When I was in school, I thought about becoming a pharmacist. But after watching a pharmacist count pills all day I wondered if I would be able to count pills all day without taking pills all day to deal with counting pills all day.
47. I played the Saxophone up through my sophmore year in High School. I think that I was pretty good. I did the pep band the marching band and the Jazz band. They even handed out Shirts that you could have your cool band nickname embriodered on it. At that time I really wished that I had chosen to play the trombone because I could think of a million cool nicknames that would go with the trombone. When kids started showing up to school with band letterman jackets and embriodered shirts that said "Saxastud", "Flutti Tuttie", "Clair-Annette", "Tubatoothpaste", and "French WHorn". My shirt just said Dave. I realized that band wasn't for me. Plus I wanted a Trombone nickname.
48. I wasn't a very nice kid in semminary and at one point and time my teacher told me that if I memorized all of my scripture master scriptures I would never have to come back and he would give me an A. I thought that was a cop-out on his part so I didn't memorise any of the scriptures and stayed in semminary to liven up the class. He only taught one year.
49. In the 8th grade I really liked talking and entertaining the class. So my teacher made me sit back in the very back corner in this huge desk for the rest of the year. I felt bad for a minute until Derek Heap brought me a swimsuit calender to stash in my desk, just in case I got lonely. I loved that desk.
50. I think that if a person is 15 years old and rides to school with his mom in her mini-van, that, that person is not a gangster and should have to pull his pants up.
50b. I don't know why but my blogger spell checker is not working so sorry, you will have to deal withhe mie misstspellangs.
To be continued.....
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
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4 comments:
Dude, I have tears rolling down my face. You are so hilarious! Where in the world do you come up with this stuff?
I am a fountain of useless knowledge and experience.
I am also crying from laughing so hard! You are a true HICK! I love it! I am a hick too, and proud of it! You are my hero- can't wait for the next 25!
Aint nothin wrong with bein a hick.
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