The Rest of 100 things about me.

76. I believe that there should be a weight limit on any belly button piercing and if that weight limit is exceeded, a minimum of 3 layers of long shirts should be worn.
77. I think that if your mid-drift is showing it must not protrude over the top of your belt buckle thus hiding the belt buckle. Unless you are a redneck and work in a scrap yard. Then it is allowable.
78. In High School, White Trash Jeff Orton took me for a ride in his sweet 88 Camaro. The car's body was beat up but he had just dropped a new 350 engine into it. We were driving down mainstreet listening to AC/DC while his dirty blond mullet flapped in the breeze. While he was chugging an Old Milwaukee he accidently ran a stop light. On the other side of the stoplight was a cop. The lights flipped on, and trying to impress me with his new engine, Orton gunned it, we turned down a side street and headed for the Indian village to hide out. Orton cop-slid around corners like it was the Dukes of Hazzard. He found a parking spot between a couple of other cars shut the lights off and tossed his beer. About 20 seconds later the cop car came zooming by. I was so relieved to have gotten away. I wasn't that scared of getting caught, I just didn't want to have to share a jail cell with Orton.
79. My senior year in High School I was walking down the hall next to my science teacher. He pulled the hat off my head and reactively (it was wrestling season) I put him into a headlock and began to give him a noogie. After I let him go, I realized that Science teachers do not like to be put into headlocks and noogied.
80. I love to get coal at the coal yard. Because it gives me other white trash to socialize with.
81. I love to cut wood.
82. I love lighters.
83. I am a pyro. I love to play with fire of any kind.
84. In college, one day my dog jumped out of the back of my truck and bit a kid. It wasn't an angry bite, just a playful fetch the kid bite. I was sick about it. I walked the kid home, and waited for his parents to come home wondering what kind of lawsuit I was about to get into. When his dad got home I was relieved when the kid's stoner dad gave him five for getting his first dog bite. The guy asked me to bring my dog over the next day so his kid could play with it so he wouldnt be scared of dogs. I took the dog over and in the 45 minutes that I was there he drank a 12 pack of beer. I became his new best buddy. He invited me and the dog in the house to look at his gun collection. While we were looking at his guns I noticed that my dog was peeing into his closet. I didn't say any thing because I didn't want to ruin our new friendship.
85. At the age of 12 on the way to a scout hike, I sat in the back of my scout leaders station wagon that had in-operable windows. I got car sick really easy back then and the Zion trip just wasn't doing it for me. As I realized that I was about to call Ralph. I told my scout leader that I had to puke. He said are you sure? I said yes I am sure. He asked if I was sure again, I said yes again. He asked if I was sure again and I blew chunks all over his car and on him. I think that was enough to convince him that I had to puke.
86. When I worked with my younger brother Gregg as a telemarketer, we were sitting next to this kid name Andrew. He was a Dungeons and Dragons dungeon master. Just messing with him we told him that Gregg was adopted and when I went with my parents to the orphanage to pick Gregg up, my parents told me that they would never love Gregg as much as they loved me. Gregg acted sad as I relayed the story to the dungeon master. The dungeon master rebuked me for my unkindness nearly casting an evil spell of warts upon my body. That day I realized that even dungeon masters have hearts.
87. One time my friend Todd and I started a heavy metal band called KRANK. We were pretty Hard Core. I wrote the Lyrics and Sang While Todd put the tunes to the Lyrics on the Guitar. We were kind of like a mix between AC/DC and Cinderella. We had a drummer that was supposed to be pretty bad A on the drums named Brent but he didn't have any drums. And when It came time for me to buy a microphone, I just didn't think that I was ready for that kind of committment. So we broke up.
88. One time I went to a Poison/Cinderella/Dokken/Slaughter concert at the Joint at the Hard Rock Hotel in Vegas with my wife and Mark Slaughter came out into the crowd and gave me five and I was like "you rock Mark Slaughter!" and he gave me a look like "yeah I know I rock, I'm Mark Slaughter."
89. One time I went to a Poison/Ratt/Great White/LA Guns concert in Salt Lake. LA Guns opened and they were all wasted and everybody started booing and I was booing until The lead singer held up a bottle of booze and then every one started cheering for the bottle of booze. That is every one but me. I'm a Mormon, I don't cheer for Alcohol.
90. One day at work I was out in the field working near an electric fence. It kept calling to me to mess with it. I inched closer and closer. I decided that if the fence didn't kill the horses that it housed, it wouldnt kill me so I touched it. It zapped me a little but not bad. Then I realize that my boots were preventing the power from grounding so I held on to the ground rod and then touched the wire. It shocked the hell out of me. I felt my heart almost explode. I sat there for a minute and realized how stupid that I really was for doing that.
91. On my High School Senior Trip at Universal Studios there were a couple of old Iranian guys that got into a fight. They were yelling at each other, We didn't know what they were saying but we could tell that they were mad and instead of hitting each other they would slap themselves, and the madder they got, the harder they would hit themselves. My friends and I kept yelling to them to stop hitting themselves and hit the other but I guess they didn't understand what we were saying because they just kept hitting themselves. When it was all over it was really difficult to tell who won the fight.
92. In Brookhaven Miss. there was a guy from India that owned a gas station. The gas station doubled as a greasy spoon. The guy from India made some of the best hamburgers. We were talking to him one day and he said that he didn't eat beef because Cows were sacred and like Gods in their culture. I thought it was a little odd that he cooked up such a mean burger.
93. I have a Black Lab Named Angus.
94. My eyes are blue
95. When I was a boy I went fishing with my dad. We weren't catching fish so we had a rock skipping contest, after a minute my dad picked up a rock and bet me that he could skip the rock and it would never sink. I took the bet and he skipped the rock after two skips the rock stopped and floated. I was amazed until I realized that my Dad hustled me and skipped a piece of wood.
96. One year at a Fathers and sons outing my Dad invited a guy Named Hal and his boy to go camping with us. When we got to the camp site the guy was all chipper and singing songs and would get a little hurt when we would kill snakes and cut down trees. I didn't think that Hal was a very good camper. I don't think my dad did either because that was the only time my dad took Hal camping with us.
97. When I was working as a Telemarketer there was a 16 year old out of the closet homo that worked there. One day I was sitting by him and we were talking, I said dude you are too young to be set on being gay you should try dating girls,have you ever dated a girl? He said no, I said, man don't go making your mind up so soon that you are gay until you try dating girls. He quickly came back with well have you ever dated a man? I said hell no, and decided that I didn't want to go any further with that conversation.
98. When I first moved out here to my buddy and I stopped by a landowners house. Rumor had spread that Marathon had hired a Mormon long before I had gotten there. As we drove up to the landowner he yelled to my buddy: Is that one of those multi-wife mother effers. But not so cleaned up. I said, Yea, do you have any daughters? He went quiet looked down at the ground and said, no. We became good friends after that.
99. I love tools. I don't think it is possible for a man to have to many tools.
100. I am very happy to be done with my 100. I didn't realize that I was such a complex man.